How Practicing Tantric Sex changed my life.

Intriguing and taboo for others especially in a Catholic dominated country. Tantra and other sacred practices are usually shunned away by a majority of people. Born and raised in a strict catholic family, I used to think that meditation, masturbation, self love and even Tantric sex is a forbidden topic yet a lot of people turn to pornography to get the “ideal” eroticism which is really devoid of divinity and respect for the sacredness of your body and your partner.

What is Tantric sex?

Tantric sex is an ancient Hindu practice that has been going for over 5,000 years, and means ‘the weaving and expansion of energy’. It’s a slow form of sex that’s said to increase intimacy and create a mind-body connection that can lead to powerful orgasms.

In Tantra, any experience in the material world can become a gateway to the Divine. The more intense the experience, the greater its potential. Sex can be a very intense experience, and Tantric sexuality includes many techniques for making sex even more intense.

Sexual union symbolizes the ultimate goal of Tantra – the union of opposites. Within each of us we have opposite poles – yin vs yang, receptive vs emissive, up vs down, yielding vs rigid, active vs passive, and so on. In order to reach higher states of consciousness, we need to transcend these apparent opposites. We need to understand that there is Yin within the Yang, and yang within the yin. We need to merge, or integrate, the apparent opposites, and understand that they are not actually in opposition to one another.

We each have an inner man and an inner woman, and these inner beings represent all these opposing pairs. When our inner man and inner woman merge in an inner sexual union, this represents the merging and integrating of all these opposing pairs.

When we practice Tantric lovemaking with another person, one partner represents the Divine Masculine, and the other represents the Divine Feminine. When we come together in sexual union with another person, we are representing the inner union of our inner man and inner woman. Sexual union with another person represents the inner integration of all the things that appear to be opposed to one another.

I discovered Tantric meditation in 2015. Whenever I think of sex, what comes in mind are the scenes one can watch on porn sites, the typical missionary position, rough, raw, basal and fast tracked obligatory sex with exaggerated facial expressions but when the camera focus on the sexual organs, you’d see the vagina very dry and red because there weren’t really any connection between the actors. I am the type of woman who never orgasm on penetrative sex and on quick action. it took a while for me to get to the higher level of enjoyment and pressure enough to orgasm properly. I discovered my femininity after exploring positions and strokes that brings a smile and a sensual smirk on my lips every time I touch myself.

In Tantra, you really don’t need a partner to achieve the ultimate level. The goal is also not to orgasm…well, you do orgasm because of the out of this world sensation but that is the ending. It’s a process of rediscovering yourself, your inner beauty and your divinity.

At first it was so hard for me because I tend to become easily distracted by the slightest of noise, movement around me and bills to pay. However, the key here is to start breathing rhythmically. On the succeeding days I decided to purchase lingerie that helped me get into the right mood. Essential oils are also needed and tealight candles in a darkened room. Setting up my crystals around me also helped channel my inner ‘goddess’ begging to be worshiped and be one with my inner ‘god’.

These are the things I did to achieve this meditation. It may vary depending on your preferences but these are the ones that worked for me.

1. Mild full body stretching and Yoga.

A full body stretching after a hectic day is important because it eases the pressure and toxins from the muscles. My body type is the adrenal type. It means hard and high intensity exercises are not good for me because elevated cortisol levels affects my insulin resistance and disrupts my hormones. My doctor advised Yoga and it helps me lose weight slowly and effectively.

2. Bathe and clean your entire body.

Water is not just for body cleansing but also for charging and soul clearing. If you will read my previous post about the rain, water is very essential for me prior to every type of meditation I do. I experienced meditation without bathing and living in a hot and humid country is not an ideal situation except if you want to practice hot Yoga.

3. Candles and scented oils.

I love colored candles. I also have scented body oils that I use on my body whenever I create my sacred space.

4. Prepare your tools

Useful tools depend on what you have. In my case, I have an Amethyst crystal in phallic shape from ( that I use to praise my divine self. You will also need a clean towel and warm water for your after care. You may use any kind of products or well being toys to enhance your experience but the key factor here is gentleness and acceptance. Gentleness in treating your body like the temple and acceptance in slowly allowing external forces inside your body.

5. Breathe and let go of all your inhibitions and face the mirror.

Ease your mind. The first time I looked at my entire body in front of a mirror made me cry. I came into terms with the imperfections that I have. The changes and the wisdom that I tried to bury because of the superficial thoughts that I followed. I let media dictate what I should feel about the person staring back at me. After few tries and tears, I finally became comfortable in seeing the strength of the scars I got from my surgeries to maintain my life and health. I finally accepted the beauty of my chubby tummy that spends quality time with my loved ones because it is for good food and bonding experiences with them that money cannot buy. I also embraced the stretch marks all over my body that I got because I shed the unhealthy pounds after exercising and eliminating sugar and sodium so that I can live longer and make my family and friends happy.

6. Slowly caress your face, your chest, your breasts and spend time worshiping how the divine created your entire body and your core.

Praise the divine, the universe, or whoever you worship for creating you. For creating the body, mind and soul that your family and friends admire. Be gentle with yourself, channel your higher self, touch your body gently and feel every bit and parts of your temple. We only have one vessel in this lifetime. LOVE IT.

7. Open your legs and slowly get to know your sacred flower (Or sacred jewel (for men)).

Our sensual organs are fascinating. It is equipped with bundles of nerves and muscles that gives pleasure and creates life. If you are shy in even looking at your own femme or homme parts then you are denying yourself the gift of knowing the sacredness of where we all become human. These organs are the ones that connected our parents and ancestors to bring forth life because of love.

8. Lay down, close your eyes and feel the connection to your higher self.

Breathe and relax, close your eyes and slowly connect with the heart chakra. Activate all your chakras as you gently touch your body. You may or may not orgasm but it will take time. Once you are very comfortable with your body, you may use your tools to enhance your senses.

9. Be open for possibilities.

I only practiced Tantra alone but if someday you find a special person interested in a deeper connection with you using Tantric pair meditation, I included the links below as reference.
This article is about my experience. Some readers may have tried this as well and might have a different approach or steps. Feel free to share your own experiences with me in the comment section so that we can learn from each other.

Helpful links:

Author’s note: this article is unedited and I am open for grammar checking and correction. Feel free to send me an email at



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