Relationship & Marriage: Don’t be with or marry someone who makes your heart giddy.

Posted January 2, 2020 by Dee Almeda

Hold up Ladies and gentlemen. Before we react to the title, let’s discuss why you should never ever marry or be with someone who makes your heart giddy.

Love is a fleeting emotion, it’s a euphoric feeling, one of the best and gives you a boost of liveliness and energy. When we are inspired and in love, we give out our best, we dress up, move with zest and glow with inspiration in everything we do. However, once we attract the person we like, the question now is what happens when the giddy, euphoric feeling is gone? Unfortunately, most of the built up facade falls off, to some, instantly because the hunting and conquering season is over.

I remembered what my grandmother, bless her soul, told me when I was young, she said that if anyone makes your heart beat faster, excited, aroused or giddy all the time, you MUST definitely avoid this person. Being in love is lovely, positive and overwhelming. In Marriage, marry someone whom you respect and someone who can accept not just the beautiful side but also the not so good about you side. Why? Because if you will only rely on the giddy feelings and how good a person looks beside you, it’s too shallow and superficial, the relationship or marriage won’t hold up.

Don’t marry a person who excites and arouse you emotionally and physically. This person is bound to leave you or you leaving once the feelings are gone. marry a man or a woman who makes you feel safe, who wakes up the creative and logical passion and psyche in you. Marry someone who respects you and reminds you that being with them in a relationship or marriage will never make you change who you truly are to the core but support you in becoming better in a holistic way. Be with someone who respects your family and choice of friends and won’t alienate you from them. They are fully aware that yes, you and them are together but you have your own tribe and values unique from each other. Be with someone who will not drag you down financially but will help build your future financially, because let’s face it, Love alone will not feed hungry tummies or take us to the doctor when we are sick.

Yes, the physical aspect is important in any relationship but it’s not that way all the time. Life is not all roses and rainbows. We all have struggles but knowing that someone is beside us through life’s roller-coaster means a lot to those who have partners, husband or wife beside them. Which is why my grandmother told me to choose wisely. Choose someone who knows how to stand and take care of themselves, because in a relationship, you do not expect a person to take care of you, taking care of you is never another person’s job, taking care of you starts from you, because no matter how hard a person helps you, if you do not wish to grow, their help will never affect you. You will drag both of you down.

Communication is a powerful tool too. If both parties don’t know how to communicate, resentment builds up. Why ask your friends and other people for advice yet you won’t communicate with your partner? It’s a waste of time. You can ask advice when you have already exhausted the efforts to communicate with your partner and the outcome is catatonic. Communication is the main reason why a relationship flourish. Men cannot read women’s minds and women cannot expect men to be 100% emotional because it defies the differences between men and women.

I have experienced first hand how lack of communication destroys a relationship. Both parties harbor resentment and turn to other things (like vices, emotional eating, impulsive buying, workaholism, attraction to someone new and even crime) that eventually destroys the relationship. How a relationship becomes a chore and both parties act like everything is alright until it eventually crumbles and falls apart because both parties are afraid to communicate their needs and their feelings to their partners for the sake of pretentious peace. It’s not the other person’s job to fix a relationship, it is when both parties wanted to honestly sit down and bear all the vulnerabilities that can help in healing and rebuilding trust after a relationship’s downfall. Once the pathway to communication opens up, love and understanding floods back in and you’ll begin to see how both parties are eager to fix what was broken and to let the past be a learning situation and not something that you will use to dig the past and slap those experiences to make your partner feel inferior every time you have issues.

If and when a relationship is really demised even after constant reaching out, communicating and attempted fixing, then that’s the time that you have to raise your white flag, move out and leave the person and start a new life. This is true for those who are and whose partners are suffering from personality disorders like Narcissism, Borderline personality Syndrome, Schizophrenia and other plethora of symptoms that may affect a relationship. In every relationship, your peace of mind and confidence should never be sacrificed for the sake of one person who brings you down. Have more respect for yourself, compromise and if worse comes to worst, end the relationship and start anew. However, if you will start anew, make sure that your past grievances and trauma will not be carried on to the next person you will love because it will never be fair for them.

So always remember, never ever be with someone or marry someone who only makes your heart giddy and excited all the time but never present in situations that you need a partner the most.