It’s been a while since I posted. I hope everyone’s well.

In no shame, I will admit I have been down in the grasps of depression and worsening issues with regards to my health.

I have been continuously doing my biologics infusion because my liver is getting damaged from the multiple medications I take to control my Systemic Lupus. It was working well but it seems despite the efforts, my kidney is starting to enter CKD stage 2 and unfortunately, unlike liver which can slowly regenerate, kidney issues are irreversible.

I was informed by my doctors that I have to make drastic changes to slow down the damage caused by Lupus to my kidneys. Too much of healthy stuff (like too much of the bad stuff) is also bad for the body.

I will be doing some changes or rather, modifications to not heal but slow down the progression of CKD. It’s a huge blow for me, I want to live, I want to travel and I want to grow old.

Got into a stage where I was trying to force myself to work, to mingle with others, to rest, but then I spaced out a lot of times because I AM SCARED.

I will update more even if no one reads. I always try to push myself, this time to update this blog like a diary. I tried reaching out to others so that I can talk and open up my feelings but I get scared that they will think of me as weak. I get scared that I will burden them with my thoughts and worries, so here I am again, typing down hoping that even if no one can read this, at least I have let these thoughts out.

If anyone or anything is out there….help. help me.

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